what's wrong with me??!!?

One week has past and looking forward for 2morrow and the week because..... my boss is not in the office and he'll be away until next Mon!!!!! Yeah... =P

Sighz... kind of vexed... because.. I dunoe what I'm feeling and how to deal with it. Again, dunoe if I think-ed to much or am I doing the right thing by not "doing" it? Ha.... hmmm... I oso dunoe.. Sianz.

Whahah.. kind of realised that I'm still the me... hahaha.. =p Does it says anything when I still get jealous over my Ex seeing/meeting up alone with the "GAL" i always do not like in the relationship? Taking photos somemore!?!?! Luckily I didnt see those pictures, otherwise I think I'd be more vexed.. Ha. Why?.. it only irks me for a while though, yest night n this morning. Perhaps it's just so used to it?.. anyway.. it linked to makes me think that...

I'm a Leo and by nature, it's those who eats lots of vinegar sort.. so ... it's naturally that I feel this way and.. i wish i can do it in future as in... my "future" can accepts it.. and i'll be okay if he's a lttle Jealousy... ha.. *Grinz* afterall... i wish to play the role of littlewoman who could listens to he's NO this NO that... ha... well, sometimes LOVE is not rational isnt it?

Argh... n yet on the other hand... my brain is thinking n thinking n thinking... what should i do? should not do? or feel? or etc? VEXED... and i'm confused... really... sighz..

Argh.. me wanna go ZZzz liao..不想了不想了！！！！！

Today

Whahahaha.. just finished watching the 1hrs 命中注定我爱你 @ channel U。。。。
Hmmm.. today is kind of sad because it's our lady boss LPV's last day in MCS. Somehow, 好想哭喔。。。。cos afterall, spending spending 3.5yrs 2gether, and starting tomorrow will be w/o her.. No matter what, will over it.. =) just somehow, it brings back my memories of some sad things.. and it just made me sad-er =(

Argh... wondering, when would be my turn to venture out?
Really admired PV's courage and Moo's determination... Say go just go.. Argh.. 帅！！！！！

Today wake up very early 5am to do my work (forecast) so very slpy now. Going to pack my things n go ZzzzZzz..

Have a great night!! Oh.. btw today is Low Bah & YanYan birthday!!! so Happie birthday and hope u 2 had a great great day!!!!

zZZzZzz

Hmmm... Yest spent the sunny saturday by picking out the photos (May Tw trip with mammy) to develop and listened to Jay's music... Oh.... I fell in love again~~ Ha.. His musics are soooooo good and nice!!! But somehow, either the disc or my player's prob. It got stucked so I turn it off to watch TV instead. Tt's about it for my yesterday.

Today.. Well.. had my 6th driving lesson and again, today seems extra more mistake such as forgotting to steer back, steer too much and too slow.. very much regarding my speed of reaction.. Slow!! for the next lesson, I must go warm up first to flex my muscles so I could perhaps better =) & today instead of teacher, I drove back to my busstop. *Grinz*

There's 2 particular articles that I came across in the Chinese Newspaper today:

a) 自闭儿, an interview with the mammy of a little boy suffering from this at the age of 2. How the mammy went through it and now, finally back on track and she's sharing her experience by writting a book. In the papers, it mentioned that she felt like giving up but in the end, she couldnt as the boy needs her... Also mentioned that, if we see some kids misbehave in the public, dun jump straight to saying the parents did not do a good job in teaching the kids, cos "problem" kids just couldnt control themselves.. So we must be more forgiving!!!

this made me think about myself.. hmmm.. perhaps we really need to be more forgiving and look at a bigger pic, do not just just straight to perception and assumption....

b) There's a short writting about success and failure. The author highlighted that city pple has objectives/aims that to them, achieveing it is the result and if we cannot achieve, then it's called failure and therefore eventually pple would give up themselves if they have fail too much times and w/o handling it good. In the process of wanting to achieve the goal, we tend to set unrealistic aims and things to do, therefore when we fail, the setback (mentally) is hugh. However, he thinks that enjoying the process is the most important thing and worth pple thinking about it.

Hmm ... i think that should be the way 2... reflected the way i handled things at work and how i set my goals at work... Hmmmm... I think really true for city pple, cos we are "programmed" in this way, so we really forget to enjoy process... must reflect... reflect...

Okie. tonight be going for family dinner for celebrating of August babies. Be going to eat my creamy Crab!!!!! Ciao~

Up & Down & Down & Up & Up & Down .....

Argh... Do not know how I have past my week, feeling still so aimless in my life.....

Yet to find my Mr Green, yet to leave my current job for something that I really like, yet to ...... alot of things la...

Hmmm. Really, have been saying so long to get the "old" me back, perhaps I forgot that as days go by, I'm could no longer be the old me, as day by day, I'm more complicated and gained one-day-older fact. So, I should not be looking back but forward.. creating a new me? Hmmm...

My sister who saw me on Monday/tue commented that I still looked so gloomy and sad... asked if it was to do with my Him.. Well... Am I? Do i still looked like someone has owed me 1mil dollars (what my mammy always claimed =P) ?? Argh... I wanna smile more u know, I wanna be happy u know? I am/want to be a bright smiley gal u know? What's happening to me????? Seems like I LOST myself sooooo far behind.. this is soooo Not good. I've to work it out!!!

我是怎么了？！

perhaps, even from the photo I took reflected my feelings.... Hmmm....

quiz "Who is your lifetime match?" with the result They are born between ....

Arh... the first try i tried this quiz it gave this reply, couldnt save it on FB in time,.. n i rem it's Nov - Dec timing oso.. but ... somehow 2nd advise is diff... c( - . - )o hahaha...

1st try:
People sometimes find you cold and reserved. They don't know you well enough though because in reality you're warm and passionate with a sensitivity to nature and natural beauty. But you hide your feelings. You're a natural worrier and as soon as you fall in love, you're afraid of being deserted. It's this fear that too often prevents you from committing or doing what feels right deep down: for example, leaving a someone you love through fear of theim abandoning you one day. But over time, you gain confidence in yourself and your relationships have a better chance of lasting. Hidden agendas don't exist with you pair, as you both expect honesty and loyalty from one another no matter how brutal it may be. You complete one another, with these people you are able to have an intellectual debate or those deep intellectual conversations which you crave. The sexual chemistry between you to will last a lifetime and you only improve with age. They respect your reserved nature as they are a big believer in privacy themselves and will allow you to naturally come out of your shell. Finally, you would have met someone who matches your stamina in and out of the bedroom...but not just in the bedroom of course. They will go the distance with you. Just listen to your heart more instead of doing the most sensible thing all the time. Listen with your heart.

2nd try
They are born between november 23rd - December 21st
At first, it’s hard not to like you with your open hearted, friendly ways. You will often enter a room as a radiant presence that causes everyone to take notice, and are skilled at “working” a crowd for best effect. As a friend, you have a knack for mining a buried dream, polishing it to a shine again, and making anything seem possible. You both have flaming passions, and a sense that life is an adventure to be celebrated. Dating involves play and possibly travel, with these kinds of people will draw you to the outdoors and soon both of you are glowing with fresh fire in the cheeks. Falling in love will make you both feel even more alive. The athletic edge will stir you out of laziness, and into the game of pleasure.

hmmmmmm?....

过的好吗？

Today is your birthday Mr TanT.Y, here wishing you a enjoyable day and may all the bad lucks be washed away by the good day! I don't have the courage to sms/msg you, just hope that you can be better and move on! Jia you!

Things happend, that none of us can change and do you know, that sometimes the pain will just flash across my mind/heart and it just aches and I'll be feeling sad and painful for what happened. Anyway, it just shows that She's not the one, so really hope that you can find someone much better and worth. Just wish that everything would be better... I really wish that... =)

Ok. Smile.. And let's move on.. here by sharing my little princess updates..

Last friday when to kiddy palace with her Mammy and granny... Cute little gal knows how to kiss popo and how at how happy she has made her granny? Well, of course I'm jealous but... hey, she knows how to kiss me as well.. heee.. *grinz* Happy.. Everyday seeing her just make my day!!! Baby baby~~ Yi yi loves u.. Muackz!!!!

一隻鞋需要一隻鞋

一隻鞋需要一隻鞋

一個老人在行駛的火車上
不小心從窗口把剛買的新鞋弄掉了一隻
周圍的人都為他婉惜
不料那老人立即把第二隻鞋也從窗口扔了出去
讓人大吃一驚

老人解釋道
這一隻鞋
無論多麼昂貴
對我來說也沒有用了
如果有誰撿到一雙鞋
說不定還能穿呢

顯然
老人的行為
已有了價值判斷
與其抱殘守缺，不如斷然放棄
我們都有過
某種重要的東西
失去的事
且大都在心理上
投下了陰影

究其原因
就是我們並沒有調整心態
去面對失去
沒有從心理上
承認失去
總是沉湎於已經不存在的東西

事實上
與其為失去的而懊惱
不如正視現實
換一個角度
想問題
也許你失去的
正是他人應該得到的

普希金在一首詩中寫道
“一切都是暫時的，一切都會消逝；
讓失去的變為可愛."

有時
失去不一定是憂傷
而是成為一種美麗
失去不一定是損失
也可能是奉獻
只要我們抱著積極樂觀的心態
失去也會變為可愛。

很多人都在選擇及猶豫中
錯過許多機會
其實大膽的去尋找事實真象
才能有所收穫

每个人的pattern都不同....

Few days ago, when I tried to communicate with my Bro with regards to his new/first job, we kind of get into dispute and I realised that he's just one stubborn Pig. Hmmmm guess we all have it in our blood which makes us all unique and has our own thinking. I'm just one stubborn OX =P .. Anyway.. so this is what came to my mind...

Everyone is just so different and special in their own way, I guess.

Anyway, brother has finally got his first job, so wishing him the best and not be bullied by others. I've been new bird and has been training new colleuages, seen them came n left, worked with them and observed every single one's style and such.. Ha.. so guess this time round, I'm nicer to the new comers, as in less harshness, ha.. must 积some德, so other pple wont bully the ones I love.. ha =P

Last week, went to help out my friend for some charity work and get the opportunity to hang ard with the young children.. Argh.. making me miss the primary school days. And look at them.. they are so cute... but of course, one or two is those naughty ones, talkative ones, shy ones, smart one.. all sort of pattern...but still so cute.. and Wont mind if I could have more opporunity in future to work with them again~~

Just there's this little gal called Cecilia ... P4 student sooo Cute.. ha.. all of us, just like her so much. =) and those 2 little sweetie pie, Indian and Malay, they are soo Pro in their presentation, u know what? They even bow n greeted the audiences and has que cards in their hand. Very well prepared and won all of our Claps.!!!

Enjoy just some pics~

勇于跨越。。。。。

I used to worry too much and it caused me something important in life,
so, to those who need just someone to encourage you.. Well,
Jiayou!
Really, sometimes you are just sooo near to achieving, dun give up so easily or taken back by fear or lack of confident.. If you do not try, you will not know what will happen and be it good or bad, at least you know u have tried.
Then it will not become an 遗憾！
Ｓｏ，　加油！！！！　

I'm back =)

Harlo!

I have finally completed part of my dream to travel with my parents, as this time round I only did it with mammy and I'm looking forward again for CNY. Might be going KOREA with Mom n Dad. See how..

OK. Update of my 8 days tour in TW. The tour guide, I named him 阿福, is quite an experienced guy and he guided us very joyable as he talked and share many things.

Things varied from History to health to feng shui and accordingly to him, even mentioned that he has added additional itineray for us... And thanks to his company, we could have had the "high-class" lunch at the 85th Floor of TAIPEI 101. Hahaha..

Well well, didnt know that TW is made up of many mountains and hills, and it's really relaxing to see one of the scenery: 风吹沙, really, very very nice!!! Another remarkable thingy is the Kenting bench? It should be very nice but unfortunately, didnt have the chance to go to the bench as we had a rushing journey to go, so when we reach there it's already evening timing, all we could do is just went for the seafood dinner and viewed the bench from FAR (Hotel). The gateway to the bench is not even opened until 9am which was supposed to be our meeting time. =( sob...

but well, enjoyed it with my mammy despite the very last day i kind of "fought" with her. Bad bad me.. hee.. cos we kind of lost our way at the underground of that TAIPEI train station (MRT), and she "suaned" me of my NO sense of direction.. Argh.. angry.. ha.. but anyway, still it's just a small small part then we just ignore and continued my journey. ~ Happy~

I kissed my mom on her cheek when I wished her Happy Mother's Day.. it was a very surprised kiss.. hee.. I faked to wanted to whisper to her and planted the kiss on her instead.. I saw her smiling sweetly.. Whahahaha..

Dum, 被你说中了，if you started your day with the tots of "xian-ness", you'll face lousy day and guess what happened?! Argh... i saw not just 1 but 2 COCKROACHES!!!! Horrible. the first one is SO huge but luckily it went hiding into the carbinet so I could continue brushing my teeth. Thinking, okay fine, I'll just go wash up and ignore the cockroach, but who knows, in the bathroom there's another!!! ~ Cry out loud~ There's no one to save me and I cant afford to go out w/o bathing as I smelled so sweaty!!! Argh.. no choice i can only made a super fast wash (I still need to wash hair) and keep staring at the same spot that very Kroach went into. Sighz... I'm so scared n crying inside me.. sob..

臭dum dum, all ur fault. ha.. =p

okok.me going to make my photos for uploading... Tata =)

Old old memories ... ..

I spent today by clearing up my stuff again, and this time round I've finally made some progress to reorganize some things that I always wanted (though I still have alot pending things not done yet). As I cleared, many memories flashed back my mind from my Primary to Poly days.

How Jupiter/Green comes into my life,
How KLASHCS7 comes about, those guys we used to Bio during schooling hours, the up and downs in Sec. days.....
How I went through the poly days in 2 portions, and of course meeting the "love" of my life, Dum. I just love her so much and so glad to have such a cutie as my Gd friend.

These sweet sweet memories just brighten my days and so glad to have them as my friends =0)

Of course.. there's some other things like those printed receipes and some artcraft stuffs... I realised I've lost those passions that I've always wanted to do/try when I'm younger. It's kind of sad because, I'm like not really making good use of my life and there's actually many things to be done if I could just put in a little effort. My life would/could be more interesting. So slowly, I must pick it up again =0)

I've also cleared the file that I kept all the things with goofy, and it's kind of "refreshing" because seeing those evidents of how used to be together, those things that we've done, words that we said, restaurants that we've visted, things that we have own/bought, just so many memories. How we from 2 strangers to fall in love to get into relationship, from distant to close, how we fall apart eventually. It's really a long process. Some movie/receipts already faded, just like some of the memories, just like our RS(Love), set me thinking that somethings like RS could/would just fade eventually..... =)

Anyway, argh.. still not finished with my organizing my things. I'must get it done by this Year!!! Tt's my target!

Kanbate loh! c( ^ - ^ )v

Today....

Harlo!
Been quite sometime I'm here to Rubbish yeah?
Well well.. today I'm so happy n excited about my trip with Mammy to TW.
Cant wait for it to come.. Cos I'm anticipating for fun, relaxation and of course.. let me have some good time Bio-ing handsome guys! Simply cos I hardly see any in Sg.. Argh... =P

And, ah gal is growing each single day and she just makes my day!
Cute little naughy niece of mine but I just love her more each day!
Waiting for the 1st 姨姨 to be out of her mouth as she doesnt speaks anything more then "Mumm Mumm" or "AMUM". She only knows to EAT! Fatty gal!

Anyway, as promised, I'm here to state 2 things! 1st, praying for Dum to have developments with MR E and dage's yest exam paper to Pass!

May the happiness spread to you and brings you good good luck!
Muackz!

c( ^._____,^)v

我没事啦， 不用担心。。。。 谢谢你的爱！

可能因为经历过所以不希望别人也感同身受那些不愉快的事。
I just felt stucked as I could not make the decision for ONE but just keeps reminding and stressing on the points and things to consider.
So I wrote those Chim Chim note。。。 哈。but I have to admit it's oso kind of my thinking 啦。。 but main emphasize is not myself, u should know =P.

请帮我pray that things will be good for the ONE and hopes ONE can get over it smoothly.. Really, I do not wish to see ONE end up getting hurt!

Let's all reduces hurt and live happily!!
ha..

c( ^ - ^)i 加油咯！

Star inside a papaya

我又学到的。。。 哈。。

男人不合理的霸道可是会让女人生气的，
可因为爱你而有的霸道，
却是会让女人气也气不起来

抱歉让你白费了这么多 .....

歌手：同恩 专辑：做自己 歌名:本来
词:阿怪曲:林松锦

下雨了站在玻璃门里头
并没有总是挂念着我
你带着雨伞来接我
夜晚了只剩老板跟我
像从前你抽着烟皱眉头
不知怎么安抚太任性的我
本来不觉得你特别疼我
直到你不再疼爱我以后
已经过去雨伞和雨衣
不会再庇护我
本来不觉得你
特别疼我直到你不再疼我
以后来不及了
手写的留言对象
已经不会是我

停雨了不必再躲雨了
已经过了该打烊的时候
还是不太想走
太晚了只能坐计程车
为什么想念着摩托车
常常会半路熄火的后座
本来不觉得你特别疼我
直到你放弃爱我以后
已经过去雨伞和雨衣
不会再庇护我
本来不觉得你特别疼我
直到你不再疼我以后
来不及了
长长的简讯对象
已经不会是我
走在湿漉漉红砖道上
沿着导盲砖试着假装
的确有点困难
也许我就这样走路回家
反正你不再在乎几点
该几点回到家
本来不觉得你特别疼我
直到你再也不疼我以后
已经过去雨伞和雨衣
不会再保护我
本来不觉得你特别疼我
直到你放弃爱我以后
来不及了
对不起长大太慢
害你遗失了我
抱歉让你白费了这么多

Everything happens for a reason.....

如果早在生我们前知道的话,
一定不会给予我们来到这里的机会.....

所以我应该感谢上天没让以前那么科技发达,
还是遗憾为什么没早点让我知道好让我更加保护自己?

Anyway, I do know that I've nv regretted into this world and no matter what,
I've to live on and move on..... I'm already very very fortunate to be able to live normally,
So I must live hard..... Right?!

Like what Kelly emphasized, Everything happens for a reason... That's what I believe in as well.....

V-Day 2009

Today is V-day and this year I still spent it with the one I love, just that it's not him..... Well, had a enjoyable day with mammy as we went to woodlands ard Noon and went to Lib at evening timing. Mammy busy looking at her books and me, *Grins* watching Korean F4 drama.. hahah.. It's called Boys of Flowers (BOF) and it is still airing in Korean so I've to wait to buy the DVD~ I think Korean's F4 is much better than Jap/Tw version..

Oh.. anyway, the most interesting and happy part for us today was that we were busy keeping lookout for couple/person carrying Flowers, be it single stalk or bouquet, so long as carrying real flowers. I initiated the bet with mom, loser shall pay for dinner, so I voted for only 5 times and Mammy chose 10. In then end, Mammy won over me so easily as within just 1-2 hrs we saw more than 10 =P.
So in total a final count of 28 pple, ha.. to me.. it's always happy to see the facial expression of those gals carrying the flowers as most of them has got the "I've-got-flowers" looks.. hahah. as they know most people would be looking at them. Anyway, Happy 就好!

Happy情人节!!!!!

心甘情愿的付出..... 好甜喔.....

我从一本言情小说上看见的.....

她的客气让他不太高兴。
“这次就算了，以后不准再对我说谢谢或对不起，情人之间没有所谓的道谢和道歉。”　
　
“这个逻辑有点怪。”不是更应该要常怀感恩的心吗？　　

“一点都不怪，心甘情愿为对方付出、为对方着想的话，就不会想要听到谢谢或对不起这种客套的字眼。”

在你心中我只剩下一点点 (此时的感受.....)

一点点 歌手：阿牛(陈庆祥)

在你心中我只剩下一点点
我站在你即将遗忘的边缘
怎么我还不想看清这一切
你早已经不留恋 我不应该再想念

第几个失眠的夜我也没发觉
这房间冷清了一点点
你提分开的那天阳光很刺眼
我并不是无所谓
时间从来没出声 它静静等谁改变
一年之前 差一步或许就有缘

有过幸福我不埋怨
在你心中我只剩下一点点
我站在你即将遗忘的边缘
怎么我还不想看清这一切
你早已经不留恋 我不应该再想念

在我心中你也还剩一点点
藏在我心房里面的最里面
当你已经找到新的甜苦依恋
我会更努力一点 寂寞不被任何人发现