你真的开心吗？

今天的我。。。。。很开心。。。。。　
因为一大清早就有可爱的小凯婷送我出门！
那是无比的幸福愉快感，你知道吗？
我不知道自己会不会有小孩呀。。。。 哈。。。
就希望有朝一日，我也可以亲着自己的宝宝！

也因为周遭的人，朋友，亲人，爱着我关心着我珍惜我，
让我真的真的很窝心，很感动也感觉好像是在梦里=P
so just wanna say thanks you all very very very much for loving me =)
Thank you for doting me... thank you for giving me the experience & giving me the chance to......

我是抱着感恩的心态在说着这些的，　真的。。。。。　
就谢谢！

晚安咯！c ( ^ 0 ^ )o

Sun's shining as usual even after the rain....

Well.... Sunshine aft the rain & things going to be good/better eventually right?

I'm looking 4wd to each day able to wake up & do things. =)

Jia you jia you everyone!!

Gg to start my healthy life & gg to start some serious work..
but like someone asked, what is my aim in life?

I guess i really need to spend sometime thinking about it & nt wasting my life/youth!!! Grinz...

Getting old & bdaeing SOoooooOOon =P

Cheers!!

c( ^ - ^ )o

1 mth's time

One month's time and many many many things happened...
Recently has been going thru roller coaster rides...
There has been times i got confused, i got busybodied, i got frightened, i got upset, i got lost, i got selfblaming, i got insecurited, etc etc...

It's something i dont really experienced before and got me thinking/feeling...

Somehow things changed and it will nv be like b4 but we're moving on...
If only I know, you have been lying to me all these while.... if only....

Vexed, emotional, confused, worrying, many many others tt i'm lost of words to describe my feelings..

what should i do? what should i not do? what's things tt i should have/shouldnt have done?
我该怎么办？

终于...

I have passed and obtained my license! I can finally start to drive on road and enjoy my weekends.

Somehow things aint well for my MOoo and just wanna hug her tight and wished I could help to clear away her troubles and things back to normal/good/ for the better!! If i have the power!

Gal is growing pretty each day, loving her soooo much!

Mammy felt sick recently again and she's just getting more tired and unhealthy!

Daddy's ok... sisters?

next month paternal gathering for Granny bdae celebration, looking fdw...

Jay's concernt july25 looking fwd too..

& i wish i could move on!!!

Jia you jia you!!!

sat go see doc...

I must treasure today!! live like there's no 2morrow yeah..

Good night!

Tiger Year Happie!

Few days ago I've just bidded goodbye to Ox brother and shall see him in another 12years' time. Sob.. Bye bye Moo Moo bro! But on the other hand, I've welcomed Mr Hu! (Tiger)!!! As... Mr Hu will bring me romances!! *Grinz* good or bad, I dunoe but at least something for me to look forward!

This year's eve, I spent the AM timing to pack/clean up my things & then PM started to help mammy to prepare for dinner. We had a simplier dinner this year as we had the pre-reunion dinner (2gether with big & 2nd sis) one week earlier. So this 13th/Feb no steamboat/ no tomyan for me.. Sob.. ha.. but oso good, otherwise my tummy will be bloated. & I stayed up till 4am.. =P wanting to 'shou shui' for parents to have longer life & partly was because I got hooked on to the TW show that I chance upon. Ha.

Jerry's & Ella's "jiu shi lai zhe ni?" Fall upon you? something like that la... & so great that one particular website has the last episode, so I watched it...hmmm.. as usual, Jerry's the MCP type of guy & i find his acting still very "tender", not that pro.. but okay la~ cos afterall, he's one idol actor =P... but it's sweet to see how he n Ella's character in the show.. & how i wish one day i could be like that being so natural/mushy mashy with my lover.. *Blush* ... One day maybe.. =P

And so, the 1st day of CNY.. it's oso the V-day.. well, we went Ahma place 1st before going Waipo place. Nothing much, eat, watch tv and back home at night. & at night i went to watched another TW show.. all thanks to Moo meimei lor.. telling me the show is good and I got interested and went to search for it.. Watched a few selected episodes and roughly got the whole idea of the story. It's by Small PIG and Rainie Yang.. love-hate-revenge show.. oh.. they are more experienced actors so they put it off better & some scenes got quite touching esp. when rainie was tearing so terribly & to experience the "death" of one lover.. maybe kind of like parting with ex-lover and you've gotta bury the memories & such... Well... anyway, ai ya... in the end they happy ending~ and i feel ending quite stupid & lame ba.. & if only the show could develop more on how Rainie got to know the guy's trick & how she be more nasty to forgive him, perhaps the show could be better.. Anyway... it's just SHOW..ha..

2nd day, my paternal side relative came to my house, entertained & gambled 21 with the littles.. Ha.. I've got a few of "bung Luck" Whahahaha... and I think i earn a bit like $3+? (our bet is just 10-20cents.) ha.. Then after that went to big sister place with the whole lot of relatives & after that we placed MJ till 1am plus.. In the process, someone kind-of-pissed me off in my heart cos i really disagree to his attitude and way of doing, of course i understand why/how n they type of personality he has, that's why i've got to pardon him.. but still a little angry & how i wish i could say it to him.. but i cant cos got to show RESPECT & who m i ? as if i very smart/capable to let pple listen to me.. so I cannot comment much, only to share with Her some other day. Well... CNY ma.. cannot create trouble! =P Had our sakae sushi Yusheng oso..

3rd day of CNY.. which is now... Grinz.. slp till 10 plus, wake up, listened to musics & then started packing things already.. ha.. re-organized my CDs storage place & replaced all the stuffs (DVDs), and found out that i still have a few drama not watched/completed yet.. but lazy to complete it lae.. ha.. cos on 1 hand i wanna listens to Cds, another hand want to watch the dramas .. ha.. in the end i did none.. Grinz.. cos later my da sis came and Dad wanted watch tv 2... so.. now, using laptop typing my blog.

4th CNY - should be dunoe what to do..
5th CNY - AM needs to driving lesson after 1month!!!! and PM, needs to go dinner with gals..
6th CNY - dunoe yet..
7th CNY - go big sis play MJ!!!
8th CNY - Yiken party at noon timing
9th CNY - START WORK (ARgh... Sian!!!!)

Happie New Year!!!

Moooo.. I'm happie la..

Moooo...
thanks for your nagging n concerns =P.

I'm alright la ?! ha.. I'm quite a postive person la.. that sometimes when trying to convince others, they just think I'm stubborn n very strong in my thinking.. haiz.. ha..
So sometimes really dunoe to be postive or just let them go wine-ing and looks at things pessimisticly and reduces my "trying-to-make-them-more-positive" effords.. cos I think i'm just weak in communciation skills. Arh.. must find time go for good courses to upgrate.. Booo..

& I think maybe in my life there's no Prince Charming/Mr Green lae.. cos I'm too heavily in debts, that hor, he oso scared.. think he has turned himself into some other Colours.. =(
perhaps tt's why he no turn up to "rescue" me or be my leaning shoulder....Argh.. grinz...
or maybe he's still hiding... or my radar not strong enough... hahah..

"calling calling Mr Green, where are you... am i ur princess?? I'm getting tired and I need/wish you could be here for me... Where are you... would you come to me?? I'll wait for you as long as possible and if you could/sense/hear me... I'm looking forward to be ur ONE.. *Blush* " ....

Grinz... ah.. getting crazier each day... =P =) =( =P hahahha

Kelly Clarkson- Already Gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have worked out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die...
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop...
I want you to know It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on So I'm already gone
Looking at you makes it harder But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry
It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so I love you enough to let you go
I want you to know It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on So I'm already gone
I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone Ahhhh already gone, already gone, already gone
Ahhhh already gone, already gone, already gone

我没事啦!

D6...
很累不过这是一条很长的路。。
没能放弃，也没能选择，所以，会开朗的向前看，
深信，船到桥头自然直。
一个人努力着会很辛苦，请不要放我一个人面对所有的事。
S&B， 我们是一起的，要同甘共苦呀。。 =P
我可以的，我会尽我所能做, 不好的就靠你了。。。 谢谢！

Please get well soon!

It hurts
It pains
It unexplainable

Just be & come back to us

I'm strong, I'll be strong for you

Be home!

Love, HJ

2010 New Year New Resolutions!!!!

Happy New Year 2010!

A very warm and loud shout out to you! Hope you have enjoyed the 1st Jan 2010.

New year denotes a new beginning so let's us work to achieve whatever things that we want/have set, accomplishing any pending matters that we have yet to close it last year(2010).

To recap, last year was a bad bad year for me and my family, especially myself.

Went through a relationship breakout during the CNY, family "dispute" in the Quarter of the year, I'm becoming more and more retarted as I'm still here and has not finished to test my market, and many more.

So I'm very looking forward to this year and some changes in myself.

I must stop looking so grumpy/sorrow everyday, must put a smile on myself (of course i gotta be naturally happy la) and be more friendly/sociable. Mood happy = success in everything, right? So I must be happy, throw all unhappiness/sadness away/behind and I'm gotta move on.

Few things on my To-Do list:

1. Get my driving license by 1st attempt


2. Get started to research my worth in market


3. Get slimmer & healtier (master how to skate)


4. Attend more self upgrading courses


5. Stop my 赖床-ness & wake up earlier for work


6. Doll myself up more (to be more presentable)


7. Be smarter at work and Kanbate


8. Bring Daddy + Mammy to overseas holidays


9. Mammy 55Yrs old bdae celebration go DTE's WWW swim whole day


10. Go play Tennis with Lau Mky


11. Save more $$$ / Earn more $$$ /Spend less $$$


12. Do 1 PM cross stich


13. Hope to view those movies during younger days that I nv really appreciate such as A nightmare at the Elm Street & 13th the friday & That doll doll horror movie - Chunky? and to buy & keep Avartar & 陈浩南's movies.


14. Sign up for Passion member so as to go CC take course/play badminton / sing KTV


15. Get opportunities to play badminton with Dad + 3rd aunty kids


16. Organize more family outings


17. Go outside walk walk look look look see see learn learn more.. cannot be like frog in wall.. already 25 this year!!!


18. Settle dad's insurance with Cat.


19. Buy new study table for room for laptop & shelfing (with bro)


20. Get TV console / Fridge


21. I wanna BBQ. (TK still owe me BBQ at his place!!!!!)


22. Swim more!!! (I just bought BLB's swimwear!!! )


23. many more...

Okok.. i've to stop otherwise i'll come up more n more ha..=P

Anyway, yeah thanks everyone/anyone for 2009 everything, good or bad or sad or happy, everyday is a learning experience and thanks God/神/whoever who has given me this life/myself, to let me live one day longer!

Looking forward for CNY as I'm chinese so I wanna celebrate CNY!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!

Nice to meet you and I'm looking forward to live with you everyday!

c( ^ - ^ )o

冷冷的风, 沉沉的心。。。。。

总觉得自己并没有打从心第的开心，也不知为何事在烦恼着.
真不喜欢现在的自己呀， 需要改变可我又有心力不足, 懒懒散散的，真讨厌！
年底了, 有好多好多没完成的任务还真令人头痛不安的，我必须加油认真点对吧？

正听着林峰与永儿合唱的"明天以后”， 还蛮伤感， 越听心情就越黑暗。

明天以后 (国语版)(林峯&泳儿)
作曲：伍仲衡/冯颖琪 填词：伍仲衡/冯颖琪 改编词：姜忆萱
泳:在你的记忆里面有一个我 在你最痛苦的时候陪你度过 难过过了天晴朗了我就走 峯:你拯救我的寂寞我的痛我的梦 在你的面前我不必保留 还来不及对你说迟到的我的心动 泳:你的好你的坏 峯:我的脾气你最懂 泳:我不要你来心疼我 峯:我不要你离开我 合:明天的以后我们会懂 失恋的挫折让人变更成熟 泳:我对你感觉胜过爱情 峯:因为有你 给我勇气给我用不完的运气 其实也想好好爱你 泳:只怕到最后不小心让你伤心 峯:我不怕会伤心 合:对不起我对你 再好再亲密都不能在一起 峯:最后看你在别人怀里 泳:有天我会找到我的唯一 峯:我并不是你的唯一 合:还微笑祝福你 峯:你拯救我的寂寞我的痛我的梦 在你的面前我不必保留 泳:我从来没对你说压抑的我的心动 峯:我的好我的坏我的脾气你最懂 泳:我不要你来心疼我 合:明天的以后我们会懂 失恋的挫折让人变更成熟 泳:我对你感觉胜过爱情 峯:因为有你 给我勇气给我用不完的运气 其实也想好好爱你 泳:只怕到最后不小心让你伤心 峯:我不怕会伤心 合:对不起我对你 再好再亲密都不能在一起 峯:最后看你在别人怀里 泳:有天我会找到我的唯一 峯:我并不是你的唯一 合:还微笑祝福你 泳:爱情总让人折磨 峯:所以我们才选择 合:做比情人更好的朋友 泳:我对你感觉胜过爱情 峯:因为有你 给我勇气给我用不完的运气 其实也想好好爱你 泳:只怕到最后不小心让你伤心 峯:我不怕会伤心 合:对不起我对你 再好再亲密都不能在一起 峯:最后看你在别人怀里 泳:有天我会找到我的唯一 峯:我并不是你的唯一 合:还微笑祝福你

ｈｍｍｍ。。。我也，几时才会找到我的唯一呢？不想不想啦。。。 我在干嘛？！哈。。。。

不说了, 我要去整理我的２０１０小记事薄了！晚安！

MOvies Recently

Recently, I have watched quite a few movies via SQ. Thanks to my company =P
Some of my tots:

1) The sister's keeper. Super damn touching!!!! initially when the show started I tot it was just some crapy US show but, in fact it was very touching as it talked about Cancer(illness) & family Rs etc.

Basically I cried from the beginning of the show till the end. If not wrong it's about 90 mins? I cried for more than an hr, honestly! Wondering if the airstewardress tot I'm Siao. Ha.

The parent decided to make another baby in order to help to "cure" the elder sister who's sick. So the little gal came to "help" the sister. However, one day when the big sister got sick & needed transplant, the little sister filed for "personal protection" that she can make her own decision to NOT help the sister anymore.
Of course, then the show went on to how the mother fought with the lawyer & how the spent the rest of the days 2gether... Anyway, in the end, the big sister died eventually and true enough, the little sister got the "protection". But it's actually instruction from the big sister.. she taught the little gal to do/say those things just because she (big sister) noes that she'll die n perhaps giving up?

The show showed us how the Mother fought bravely/lonely as a mother, and not giving up till the very last moment.. and perhaps cause I could relate myself to the situation so really cried like nothing!!! Worth watching!

2) The Time Traveler's wife.
Well, well, romantic love gal gal story but.. i think it's cool because the wife is really brave and courageous enough to "handle" such hubby, who will just blink n gone & god knows when he'll return and at what age? I think the hubby worst as he can NV control such travelling & i cannot imagine myself been naked everytime i "blink".. Gosh.. That's soooo crazy & it's kind of sweet as in the end they managed to have a bb.. after many many tries.. cos the bb can telepot oso... so the wife miscarriage many many times.. Sad right? ERm.. This show is basically following thru the story, got acting & interesting storyline. Only one sad part when he's going to die as he had foreseen & was told by the future daughter... so it's the departing moment btw wife & gal.. Argh...

3) The ugly truth...
Erm. nothing fantastic but... it talks about this Capable woman who is looking for perfect guy n she's tooo Boring that she couldnt find any guys who fall for her (Of course, in the end the main lead guy fell for her.. ha).. so the guy helped her to fine tuned to the every-guy-desire-sort-of-gal, and she got the guy she liked but realises that she has fell for the main guy already.. anyway,
In summary, it says about how gal should "understand" guy that they are just simple n they dun think soooo much as gal and some key things like: dun like girls to take charge, like gals to dress themself... & 1 funnie point is that the guy said, girls has to fake orgs. as it's always better than NO orgs. hahah.. & For girl side, maybe has to be realistic that there is NO perfect guy available... Some blunt (Swear alot & horny dialogs) funnie show to laugh when u have nothing better to do..

4) Another upcoming movie that i've yet to watch.. I am attracted by the movie critics written by Lian He Zao Bao on the 30th Oct. : 《第十四道》 Caroline
http://www.zaobao.com/fk/fk091030_015_1.shtml:
Some abstruct:

《第》中卡罗兰的经历其实也可以是成年人空虚心灵的写照，人常抱怨自己的生活，忽略现实中能构成幸福的琐事。人爱以自己为中心，例如《第》中的卡罗兰总是看不到力不从心的父母，对他们有诸多的不满，不过秘道父母要给她“一对纽扣”眼所带来的刺激，她才重新发现以前没有注意到的幸福和美好。幸福，原来就是那么的简单，也只有愿意放弃一部分自我，视野才更加的广阔，才能看到真实。

That's all folks ~

i should/could have done better.....

Harlos. Well, pls pardon me as the previous blog I wrote in a "Venting" out tone as I was in discussion of those topic with a friend who doesnt share the same tots. =P
Well, after spending sometime to reflect about the situation, I felt I was abit too subjective and I must be a little too proud & think too much of myself. =P

Last week, hmmm...should be not that good as Friday, when I was conducting the meeting, I felt not much people really concentrate on listenin to me & kind of like I'm doing a bad job. =(
And, I think sometimes I'm really too proud of myself.. Argh.. I have & must improve... I need to find ways to bring myself up another level & do a better job.. I'm a leo.. must show my leoleo power!!!

Then as for my driving lesson process..Sat had a better drive but Sun, back to scolding day again. Teacher commented on my slow-ness.. 手慢脚慢。。 not concentrated at driving. Asked me turn left, i signal right. Asked me vertical parking, i do paralle parking. Asked me straighten i more slanted. Haiz... =( When then i can really do a better/good driving!!! so angry with myself... !!!!

Then sat, went prawning for the first time. Everything went well quite nicely but just a little 小插曲，where daddy made mammy angry. Cut long story short, it's just 2 person characteristics really cannot match and they must know when to shut up, or when to talk.. it's really something very not easy.. ha.. communciation brokedown for them & I dun think they can ever fix it... Well... tt's something i really cant help to change but in other areas ba... I'll kanbate de.. What i can help i'll help..

Argh.. so broke ... i'm going to be broke at least another 2-3 yrs.ha.. unless my Boss raise my PAY or i get better pay's job.. otherwise, i'm going to be.. eat durian oso gotta think about my budget/sob.

Yest went to Yongxuan place & kind of like it, the 5room flat has very big living room space!! i like i like & next time i wanna my home simple sweet n comfy!!! & ... i have one idea for my wedding car.. i wanna put one row of flowers decoration at the windscreen there.. it's going to be very romantic~~ Aroohhh... grinz.. got that idea from one pic from YX's wedding photo.. Oh.. Congrats to Mr & Mrs YX cos... they are going 2 have a bb in 2010 Feb. bb boy.. Grinz. Happy!!!

Also went to sk's place & we nv talked. Take it as I'm the bad n bo xin one ba.. well... it's funnie things turned out this way, & my skin is toooo thin somehow.. perhaps someday, when i boil more courage, i'll approach him ba... Great seeing ahya & carried her.. little pie.. So cute with her long hair and short short fringe!! As for bb boy, didnt really see him much but he does cries alot =P.

Yest went swiming before visiting YX. has just few laps swimming, but shiock..
I've so many things not done yet.. & i wanna go kTv sing song.. my throat itchy to shout it out.. =P

Okay.. enough crapping. going to search where to book for makan on coming sun for dad & sister bdae celebrations. See ya~

你好吗？

A) It has been 6mths since the case happened, and just msn to asked if you are OK? & you replied Fine. So I guess you're alright and moving forward yeah, then I should not be worrying too much right? Anyway, all the best to you!!

B) Changed my hairstyle, permed to make it big wave, trying my best to maintain so as to keep it longer. =) But then i find my hair messy and not Wavy enough *Bleah*
Face, still as much pimples and geez, yest spend $$$ again. Sob.. wondering when could i get rid of this shit? Anyway, Swear to myself, to dum n anyone, this will be the last time cos after signing these, i'll be able to clear my existing other things... anyway, i really already stopped buying anymore of their recommendations. So, this one is only to sign for the basica course. quite sad cos $$ is enough to buy 2 laptops? A new fridge? or even many many dresses? haiz.

c) Went SIC last week and extended one day trip. Enjoyed despite it's a rushing schedule because we have planned to visit 5 temples but in the end only 3. But good enough la cos it's really beautiful and one of the temple i went, it's really relaxing. Makes one feel like to go there to sit and throw all trouble away and "silent sit" there... really.. & Sunshine after the rain, we saw nice rainbow!!!! Didnt take many photos because i wanted to enjoy the scenery, cos anyway, the rest are taking and sometimes i just wonder take soooo many pics for what? cos at the end, it would be just repeitative and you would have wasted your time taking photos and forgot to enjoy there..

d) work... i'm not the best nor i'm very good. it's just pple ard me dun show that they are that capable or show their power, tt's why i'm in the lead.. why dun they pick up their fighting sprit? like fireman? or those rescue team? they know chance slim but still try to put out fire or save the remaining?? they try didn't they? I think it's just the objective/mission/vision is lacking. if one really think good for the company, they will be more active and somethings just wont get immediate effect wont it? like planting a plant to grow into trees? Who would say u good, diligent to water the plant daily? letting it grow well w/o bugs? pple would only thumbs up when ur tress is 100yrs old.. or when ur trees big enough to shelter them during raining days or help to reduce the C02? At the end of the day i would prefer to think that it's personality lor.. if your those with more fighting spirit, you'll do more, if you're w/o, no matter how pple push u.. you'll not move... so.. really hard.. n lacking a good motivator perhaps n unfortunately i'm not doing a good job at that cos i still lacks alot of skills... just pondering why pple are like that?? cos i dun think i'm one of them YET...

e) personality and characteristics..

f) I'm tired now.. eyes closing... zzZzz
*Share my pics again when i have time.. sry for my boring/grumpy post.. Zzzz

Seems like I forgot something.....

Just realized that saying sooooooo much, I've not Apologize for my sinful action...
对不起！

是对是错，因该不因该，你要怎麽说?!?!? 我需要勇气。。。。。

Yesterday.....
I woke up in the morning been scared by a huge cockroach but luckily my brave brother and mammy were around to help me get rid of it so that I could prepare for work/day. (Perhaps it’s an indication of how my day will be?!?)

Work wise, I took the opportunity to organize our Tons of catalogues collected from various trade show and those donkey year's ago newsletters, so I almost spent whole day doing those sorting and organizing so I did not "work" much =P Was still so YaYa about it =P

Then the night I went to see doct for follow-up..... All it started quite well... but things changed at a later stage where I did something sinful... Haiz.. It aint proud ... but I did it. And could it be fated to let me see those things??

The first feeling I felt was: I felt like a fool.. ha... really...
Because at one side I’m confused, vexed about the feelings, the other side actually those things happened.... Know what I'm saying? Then I was thinking: What am I to you?? What do you treat me as?? I've no idea... or maybe just too sad to think about it..

..... .... ... .. .

I used to believe in this & I still do:
我不希望你选我是因为，只有我这棵树。 我希望你是在整个森林里选择的那颗唯一的树。。。。。
And now perhaps to add on:
我也希望你选我是因为打从心底的爱我，而非因为其他树不接受你，所以你才回头来要我。选择放弃的时候是一次伤害，请不要再回来伤我多一次。。。。。

what's wrong with me??!!?

One week has past and looking forward for 2morrow and the week because..... my boss is not in the office and he'll be away until next Mon!!!!! Yeah... =P

Sighz... kind of vexed... because.. I dunoe what I'm feeling and how to deal with it. Again, dunoe if I think-ed to much or am I doing the right thing by not "doing" it? Ha.... hmmm... I oso dunoe.. Sianz.

Whahah.. kind of realised that I'm still the me... hahaha.. =p Does it says anything when I still get jealous over my Ex seeing/meeting up alone with the "GAL" i always do not like in the relationship? Taking photos somemore!?!?! Luckily I didnt see those pictures, otherwise I think I'd be more vexed.. Ha. Why?.. it only irks me for a while though, yest night n this morning. Perhaps it's just so used to it?.. anyway.. it linked to makes me think that...

I'm a Leo and by nature, it's those who eats lots of vinegar sort.. so ... it's naturally that I feel this way and.. i wish i can do it in future as in... my "future" can accepts it.. and i'll be okay if he's a lttle Jealousy... ha.. *Grinz* afterall... i wish to play the role of littlewoman who could listens to he's NO this NO that... ha... well, sometimes LOVE is not rational isnt it?

Argh... n yet on the other hand... my brain is thinking n thinking n thinking... what should i do? should not do? or feel? or etc? VEXED... and i'm confused... really... sighz..

Argh.. me wanna go ZZzz liao..不想了不想了！！！！！

Today

Whahahaha.. just finished watching the 1hrs 命中注定我爱你 @ channel U。。。。
Hmmm.. today is kind of sad because it's our lady boss LPV's last day in MCS. Somehow, 好想哭喔。。。。cos afterall, spending spending 3.5yrs 2gether, and starting tomorrow will be w/o her.. No matter what, will over it.. =) just somehow, it brings back my memories of some sad things.. and it just made me sad-er =(

Argh... wondering, when would be my turn to venture out?
Really admired PV's courage and Moo's determination... Say go just go.. Argh.. 帅！！！！！

Today wake up very early 5am to do my work (forecast) so very slpy now. Going to pack my things n go ZzzzZzz..

Have a great night!! Oh.. btw today is Low Bah & YanYan birthday!!! so Happie birthday and hope u 2 had a great great day!!!!

zZZzZzz

Hmmm... Yest spent the sunny saturday by picking out the photos (May Tw trip with mammy) to develop and listened to Jay's music... Oh.... I fell in love again~~ Ha.. His musics are soooooo good and nice!!! But somehow, either the disc or my player's prob. It got stucked so I turn it off to watch TV instead. Tt's about it for my yesterday.

Today.. Well.. had my 6th driving lesson and again, today seems extra more mistake such as forgotting to steer back, steer too much and too slow.. very much regarding my speed of reaction.. Slow!! for the next lesson, I must go warm up first to flex my muscles so I could perhaps better =) & today instead of teacher, I drove back to my busstop. *Grinz*

There's 2 particular articles that I came across in the Chinese Newspaper today:

a) 自闭儿, an interview with the mammy of a little boy suffering from this at the age of 2. How the mammy went through it and now, finally back on track and she's sharing her experience by writting a book. In the papers, it mentioned that she felt like giving up but in the end, she couldnt as the boy needs her... Also mentioned that, if we see some kids misbehave in the public, dun jump straight to saying the parents did not do a good job in teaching the kids, cos "problem" kids just couldnt control themselves.. So we must be more forgiving!!!

this made me think about myself.. hmmm.. perhaps we really need to be more forgiving and look at a bigger pic, do not just just straight to perception and assumption....

b) There's a short writting about success and failure. The author highlighted that city pple has objectives/aims that to them, achieveing it is the result and if we cannot achieve, then it's called failure and therefore eventually pple would give up themselves if they have fail too much times and w/o handling it good. In the process of wanting to achieve the goal, we tend to set unrealistic aims and things to do, therefore when we fail, the setback (mentally) is hugh. However, he thinks that enjoying the process is the most important thing and worth pple thinking about it.

Hmm ... i think that should be the way 2... reflected the way i handled things at work and how i set my goals at work... Hmmmm... I think really true for city pple, cos we are "programmed" in this way, so we really forget to enjoy process... must reflect... reflect...

Okie. tonight be going for family dinner for celebrating of August babies. Be going to eat my creamy Crab!!!!! Ciao~

Up & Down & Down & Up & Up & Down .....

Argh... Do not know how I have past my week, feeling still so aimless in my life.....

Yet to find my Mr Green, yet to leave my current job for something that I really like, yet to ...... alot of things la...

Hmmm. Really, have been saying so long to get the "old" me back, perhaps I forgot that as days go by, I'm could no longer be the old me, as day by day, I'm more complicated and gained one-day-older fact. So, I should not be looking back but forward.. creating a new me? Hmmm...

My sister who saw me on Monday/tue commented that I still looked so gloomy and sad... asked if it was to do with my Him.. Well... Am I? Do i still looked like someone has owed me 1mil dollars (what my mammy always claimed =P) ?? Argh... I wanna smile more u know, I wanna be happy u know? I am/want to be a bright smiley gal u know? What's happening to me????? Seems like I LOST myself sooooo far behind.. this is soooo Not good. I've to work it out!!!

我是怎么了？！

perhaps, even from the photo I took reflected my feelings.... Hmmm....